I hate this...

Don't look at me like that, I'm not good at polo, underwater or anything...
Yeah, I am a loser, a loser, you still want me?
You looked at me like I am a loser, I felt that I don't suite you...

I just wanted to be the best, but I can't.
I don't have such freedom to do all this stuffs like Susu they all.
I don't have money...I don't have freedom...I'm not as pretty as a picture...I'm not prefect like XinWei, being loved by Sherman..

I don't know whether you like who, but I don't think you like me.
Because, even the PandaFace also like Mandy, who had a birth-mark on the face.
Humph...I'm not enough, this is what I am.

I don't understand, WHY?! Why am I not the one who's The Perfect One?!
I've borned to be having a 'mak' on my right side of the mouth.
I always thinks that I am an ugly person among my friends.
I have 'eye nest', don't know how to say...
This 'eye nest' makes me feel like I'm a person who face is going down(下垂).
When I'm taking photos, it's worse.
The flash lights made my 'eye nest' and the goggle mark looked like an ugly person.
I've gotten used to it, but since that I've known the prettinest of people,
I've understood that, I'm not pretty enough to be your other half.
I know, no one on earth is 100% perfect, but I just wanted myself to be pretty!
This isn't hard...

Yep, so I've tried some sort of facial treatments that mum had helped me.
It isn't good enough, so I've tried another care.
I've now trying to be as moralble and as careful as possible when doing somethings infront of my friends, the one who I love and people.
This maybe could help me, so I am in my Mission One.
But I haven't list my 'wanted-s' out, but I hope that my mission can complete.

Now, what I want to do is to make myself like Katherine and XinWei.
They are  soooooo pretty and perfect.
I just wish to be like her.
Their smile, their face, their manners, their everything!
She is just sooooo cute!
Wah...I've being drugged by them...XD

I am planning to do every mission all together, this helps me to do it where ever or whenever I want.
I wanna buy clothes, wallets, bags, books, shoes, equipments...
I don't wanna make my parents tired of my wanted-s,
so, I wanna have my own job like my sister.
I wanna be like a person who works.
I wanna teach kids swimming lessons, this is my only way to find jobs in youth.
I'm under aged, yes I know.
But I just needed money so much!
I don't have daily moneys from parents coz I don't want.
But now I WANT. I NEED IT.
So embarrasing when asking to have money...
I told mum, but she just don't mention about it.
I might wanna ask Aunty Agnes to help me to find this treasurer's gold...
Coz I don't wanna be a person who uses their parent's money to buy their wanted-s,
like Su Qian they all.
They use their parent's money to buy such expensive things.
But I wished to follow them, YanXi and Annie could follow, too.

Maybe next year...I could have my own job.
I wanna keep them until I had enough, then I'll ask my sis to help me buy.
Like IPOD, IPhone4, MacBook...I would like to have techno items.
Why? Oh...Because they rocks. They definitely rocks. Dude.

Not only these things. I still want other things.
I told you already what I wanted, it's up there~
I wanna be the best upon my friends.
To my friends, I'm a bunker, a person who always skips school.
Yeah, it's why that I don't have fancies. Maybe.
Or, I'm ugly.
Yep, this are the reasons, sorry, I mean maybe reasons.
Humph...I just wanna be top.
Or followers, perhaps?
But I don't have nether one.
Because I was being borned in a sort of 'locked-up' family,
means you don't have freedom to have what you want like the SMTKJX Club.
Haix...What I need is simple, but I just can't make it.

I've being given a pair of nice big eyes, but I've ruined it myself because of rubbing it, always.
Now I've stopped it by controlling when not needed to rub.
I always pull my face down with my hand because of water coming down making me feel itchy. I made myself felt that my face is going downwards.
I still can't control this section, but I'm helping it.
I tried to only pull my nose or just tap my hand towards my face, this maybe could help the ater to separate.
I have more to tell...What? You really wanna know?
Fine. I'll tell.

I had back-pimples at my back body.
I had many pimples around my face, especially my nose and forehead.
I had 'hairs' on my whole body. Luckily that Brenda was same long with me.
My fingers were small but my palms were big, I want it on the other side.
When my hair'll go itchy, sometimes, and I had to scratch it. Ewwww...So embarrasing...
I'm rude, sometimes. I shud change this, also.
I'm bad at land exercise and some other water sports except swimming, of course.
Sorry, I hoped that you don't mind about my bad attitutes, coz you wanna know...><
It's embarrasing...Paiseh paiseh...